Project #1

Before I get on to the real post, here’s a quick update on my losing weight: I haven’t lost a single pound. It’s been three weeks, and I haven’t lost a single pound. However, I have noticed that I feel different, and I might be losing inches around my waist. I don’t know this for sure because I didn’t measure my waist in the beginning, but that will now change. My waist is 44 inches big- as of now. My hips are 45 inches, and my butt is 48 inches… yes, I’m a box. My thighs are 27 inches near the top. My real workout routine starts this week- since school will be in session. I will be dropping my son off, then going straight to the gym to do their classes. I still plan on doing Zumba on Wednesday nights, although they might be changing the time.

Oh, yeah! And I’ve also started collecting healthier recipes- including salad recipes. I plan on having salads for most of my lunches. So far, my favorite recipe is from Zupas. They have a salad called “Nuts About Berries”. (Holy smokes- so good.) It was this salad that convinced me I could actually eat more salads and enjoy them. I will be trying their “Summer Chicken Salad” for dinner with my family this week. Obviously, it won’t be as good because I’m not using their housemade dressing, but I’m hoping it will be okay anyway. If you have any salad recipes that you really like, please share them… I’m really trying to be healthy, but I don’t want to give up taste and eat blah healthy food. I want tasty healthy food. There’s gotta be some good recipes out there.

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Okay, now on to the real blog- which is more pictures than words, but I hope you don’t mind. I mentioned in my last post that a bipolar diagnosis does not make an entire human being. There are many parts to a person- a bipolar diagnosis is just a part of who I am. I wanted to share an example of another area of my life that has little to do with having bipolar. I am a crafter, and I recently created something for my kids that I want to share.

My son came to me a couple weeks ago and showed me that he has his first loose tooth, and though I had started this project a few months ago, this motivated me to finish it. Forgive the pictures- I am not a photographer.

It’s called a “Tooth Fairy Pillow”. You hang it from the child’s bedpost, or even around the doorknob. On the front is a picture of a tooth (I put a smiley face on it just for fun). I used star-shaped beads to attach the ribbons to each side. And on the back, there’s a pocket sewn into it for the trading of the tooth and money. I added some fringe and other fun trim to add the finishing touches. I found a bunch of different ideas for it on pinterest, and eventually just created my own pattern. Isn’t it fun?!?!

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I acknowledge that I may be a little elevated lately- this project may be a result of that energy. Since I started my exercise plan, I have felt greater pressure to get more things done and organized in my life. I have created a list of projects that I want to have done. (I enjoy my lists.) I don’t think I’m to the level of hypomania, yet, but I need to just make myself aware of my ‘all or nothing’ thinking. It is good to want to get things done and to organize my life. It is not good for me to allow these projects to control me and do them all at the same time, which is kind of force of habit for me. While in this slightly elevated state, I have to remind myself to make sure I do my meditations, stay in routine, and make sure I pay attention to my kids first. Otherwise, I may escalate into a hypomanic state. Even though I may be productive and feel good, it is not healthy as it may cause emotional harm to those around me as well as propel me into a deeper depression after the episode is over.

Sometimes, reminding myself in writing makes my mood status more of a reality and keeps me in check.

Welcome to the Community

One week ago Sunday, my husband and I presented at a ward fireside. Even though my part was short, the Bishop of said ward read a short bio that my husband had written. In that bio, my blog was mentioned, stating that I am an advocate for those with mental illness.

After the fireside was over, a beautiful sister approached me to make sure that she had the correct information so she could send her cousin to my blog. She said that her cousin was just recently diagnosed bipolar and might need some of the support and advocacy that I offer here. I was thrilled. One of my goals in life is to be able to help others. I know bipolar can be a difficult diagnosis to accept, so I like to reach out to others as much as I can.

So, in coming home, I looked at my blog and I realized that although there are some entries that discuss my bipolar experience, some may not immediately see my blog as advocacy for those with mental illness. I was a little concerned about this at first, but later realized that this is a good thing.

First, it’s good because that means my management strategies are working. I’m not as consumed with the knowledge that I’m bipolar. My medication has taken affect. Other management techniques like keeping a routine, doing meditations, getting enough sleep, etc are doing what they should to keep my mood swings more even.

Secondly, and I say this specifically to those who have just been diagnosed, or still haven’t found the right combination of techniques to work for you; It’s important to realize that bipolar isn’t everything- it’s not life. When I was just diagnosed bipolar, and even up until last year, bipolar seemed to take over everything. I was hyper aware of everything I was doing, every pain I was causing. For the first while- yes, bipolar seems overwhelming. But it’s not the end of the world. Management is possible- I am living proof… and eventually, bipolar will take a back seat, and you can allow your life to be more balanced. There are more things that make up who you are- that keep you unique.

 

Take me, for example, I’m a daughter of a Heavenly Father- God. I know he knows me and understands me- even during a crazy episode (and I know the same is true for you). I’m a wife. I’m a mother of a 6-year-old and 20-month-old twin girls. I’m a homemaker. I’m a crafter. I exercise now- and that’s making a difference in how I carry myself (many bipolar websites talk about the importance that regular exercise has on your management plan). I have goals and plans for the future. These are some of the things that make up who I am- not bipolar. Bipolar is just a guideline. It has affect on your decisions, but it’s not everything.

You can do this; whatever your current struggle. I know it sucks at first, and you may frequently feel unworthy or imperfect, but you have support and love. If you don’t at home, contact me- I can be your support. I love you- even if I don’t know you. I understand pain. I understand hurt, depression, anger, etc. I believe whole heartedly that there is a plan for each individual; both spiritually and for your management strategies. Life can be loved again. Bipolar can take a back seat. Believe me- you can do this.

Odds and Ends

Okay- here’s a quick summary of my week:

I did well as far as last week’s declaration is concerned. I went to the gym twice and did Zumba again with my friends. I also exercised a little this evening at home- even though it was only for 20 minutes. I took a conditioning class at BYU, and if my memory serves me correctly, I need cardio at least 3 times a week for at least 30 minutes in order to lose weight. 20 minutes 3 times a week will help you maintain your weight. I know strength training is really good for weight loss, too, but I can’t remember the specifics.

Anyway, I did classes three times this week. Two were Zumba (one at Gold’s Gym, the other with my friends at a local studio), and one was kick boxing, and boy did that kick my butt! It’s been a while…

I also did the calorie counting this week, and other than Friday (date night, so I didn’t exercise- AND we had a dessert), I did pretty good. Week one- check. Week two- here I come.

I’ve been pretty stable lately as far as bipolar goes. Unfortunately, I got hit with a short hypomanic episode this week. It started in the middle of the night. I love sleep. But, I had to use the bathroom at three o’clock in the morning. Once I tried to come back to bed: BAM! I was wide awake. The next day was spent being incredibly impatient that my kids weren’t going as fast as me, and having a million project ideas running through my head: all with the deadline of two weeks (when school starts again).

Luckily, I kept with my routine- which is super important for bipolar management. I went to bed when I usually do (even though I had a couple nights where I had to go to the other room so at least my husband could sleep even if I couldn’t). I did my meditations at the same time. I took my medications (not negotiable). And the episode has sort of slipped away. I’m so grateful that I have the tools that I do to help me minimize the damage that can be caused by a hypomanic, or a depressive state.

Well, that’s it for today, folks. Thanks for reading!