A little off

We moved. It's not permanent- just somewhere in transition while we wait for some details to work themselves out. Then, we'll move again.

I've done really well up to this point. I've kept myself busy with some fun projects. Until we find out where we're moving, I've been making things to help our car trip be more successful- you know, things to keep the kids occupied and happy on our hours on the road. My favorite thing has been the car organizers. One for me in the front:

Then, a couple for the back seats for the kids to access:

And today, I just finished a little box (my first duck tape project- not the cleanest, but it'll work) for the trash and baby wipes for dirty hands and faces to go:

The little spokes are to hold the plastic bags in place.

 I've had, I think, a pretty good attitude about the whole thing. Unfortunately, now that those projects are done (big shout out to my mom, by the way, for letting me raid her fabric stash), I feel down.

The problem with this is I know it's just temporary; a let down after a while of being slightly hypo manic... But that doesn't change the feelings of uselessness- of restlessness- of feeling tired and like I have no friends.

Whenever I feel like this, my first instinct is to write something on Facebook about how I feel. But this is what happens: I get some people who say they understand and to hang in there (and as much as I want that to help, it doesn't). But then I get others trying to analyze me or telling me what I need to do to "fix" it- to "fix" me.

First of all, you can't fix me- this is just something that I come around to every so often. It's part of the disorder. No- serving others won't take it away. Really- if you have to say anything- stick with the first group, and just say you're sorry, and that either you do, or even that you wish you could understand or take it away.

But what I think would help me most is to have a friend come over and distract me with stories of your day... Or better yet- let's watch a movie. Neither one of us has to say anything, but I would know I'm loved because you took time out of your day to just be with me while I felt like a fly on the wall, or needed to cry just to cry.

Yes- I know that life isn't over. My depression doesn't usually get that deep anymore, but it still happens sometimes. I'm looking forward to the next "project" that can help lift me up.