FIX IT!!!

As we approach the beginning of a new year, it's customary to take a look at our lives and set goals to  become a better person: lose weight, pick up a new hobby, stop smoking, save money, etc.  In some way, we just want to ---FIX IT!!!

Sorry- I couldn't help myself. That video just makes me laugh. But let’s  get real- it ain't gonna fix itself- whatever “it” is for you.

One of my “its” is my thought patterns. Bipolar is specifically characterized by extreme moods and patterns of distorted thinking. Distorted thinking can have an extreme negative impact on a person’s perception of themselves, others, and the world around them.

None of us are immune from types of distorted thinking at some point in our lives. I think it is at least partially powered by our emotionally charged reaction to things. I would even guess that many break-ups of relationships and families are because of distorted thinking on the part of one or multiple parties. Learning to better control these dangerous thought patterns would be an excellent New Years Resolution. Just an idea...

To review, the main patterns are as follows (for explanations on each type, visit my previous entry here):

•    Filtering

•    Polarized or black and white thinking

•    Overgeneralization

•    Jumping to conclusions

•    Catastrophizing

•    Personalization

•    Control fallacies

•    Fallacy of fairness

•    Blaming

•    Shoulds

•    Emotional reasoning

•    Fallacy of change

•    Global labeling

•    Always being right

•    Heaven’s reward fallacy

In my experience, the first step in overcoming distorted thinking patterns is to question oneself. Challenging every thought that spurs  a negative emotion is not an easy thing to do. Essentially, you are accepting the idea that you might be wrong. In my case, that I might be wrong very frequently.

Once you’ve identified the thought, then you interrogate it. Search for the full picture. Gather the facts. This also includes trying to see the situation from another perspective, including that of your opposition. Be honest. Was that thought really warranted or did your brain overdo it a little?

I admit this is way hard to start, but it gets easier as you retrain your brain to be more balanced and react realistically and not perceptionally, if that makes sense. Perception is reality to many people. But our reality can be more fair and less depressing and angry if we look at a more complete picture.

Below is another list of ideas on how to conquer those poisonous distorted thinking patterns. I took everything below from psychcentral.com.

“1. Identify Our Cognitive Distortion.

“We need to create a list of our troublesome thoughts and examine them later for matches with a list of cognitive distortions. An examination of our cognitive distortions allows us to see which distortions we prefer. Additionally, this process will allow us to think about our problem or predicament in more natural and realistic ways.

“2. Examine the Evidence.

“A thorough examination of an experience allows us to identify the basis for our distorted thoughts. If we are quite self-critical, then, we should identify a number of experiences and situations where we had success.

“3. Double Standard Method.

“An alternative to “self-talk” that is harsh and demeaning is to talk to ourselves in the same compassionate and caring way that we would talk with a friend in a similar situation.

“4. Thinking in Shades of Gray.

“Instead of thinking about our problem or predicament in an either-or polarity, evaluate things on a scale of 0-100. When a plan or goal is not fully realized, think about and evaluate the experience as a partial success, again, on a scale of 0-100.

“5. Survey Method.

“We need to seek the opinions of others regarding whether our thoughts and attitudes are realistic. If we believe that our anxiety about an upcoming event is unwarranted, check with a few trusted friends or relatives.

“6. Definitions.

“What does it mean to define ourselves as “inferior,” “a loser,” “a fool,” or “abnormal.” An examination of these and other global labels likely will reveal that they more closely represent specific behaviors, or an identifiable behavior pattern instead of the total person.

“7. Re-attribution.

“Often, we automatically blame ourselves for the problems and predicaments we experience. Identify external factors and other individuals that contributed to the problem. Regardless of the degree of responsibility we assume, our energy is best utilized in the pursuit of resolutions to problems or identifying ways to cope with predicaments.

“8. Cost-Benefit Analysis.

“It is helpful to list the advantages and disadvantages of feelings, thoughts, or behaviors. A cost-benefit analysis will help us to ascertain what we are gaining from feeling bad, distorted thinking, and inappropriate behavior. Note: 1) clinical concept of secondary gain; and 2) refer to cost-benefit analysis.

“Reference:

“Burns, D.D. (1989). The feeling good handbook: Using the new mood therapy in everyday life. New York: William Morrow.”