The Blind Leading the Blind

Not too long ago, my husband and I moved in with his parents. This was to be a temporary solution as we figure out the next steps of our future. We soon learned this was by divine design. God placed us in my in-laws house for a reason.

We had only been there for six weeks, when my father-in-law unexpectedly passed away. There was no sign that anything was wrong, but his heart got too big (literally and figuratively) to be on earth with us anymore.

Normally, this wouldn't mean much difference for my little family's future, except that my mother-in-law has a medical issue that requires care. What she has is dementia caused my a series of mini strokes. She can't remember things. She has difficulty stringing sentences, or even words, together. She also struggles emotionally- and not just because she misses her husband. She gets frustrated. My father in law did everything for her, and now he's not here. By default, it falls to me to care for her.

This is a perfect example of "the blind leading the blind". In the Bible (Matthew 15:14), Jesus teaches "They be blind leaders of the blind. And if the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into the ditch." Yup- if I'm to care for her, that's exactly what will happen. After all, our difficulties are very similar to each other.

To an extent, I understand her brain. My brain, too, is wired such that I'm extra-sensitive emotionally. While I'm learning to train my brain so that it is more balanced, I still have emotional problems that no one understands. And it gets so frustrating when no one seems to see the reasons behind my fear, or my anger, or depression, or yes, even my elation. She and I relate in this way.

On the other hand, as I'm learning to manage my emotions and sort of stabilize them, she's slowly getting worse. And now, without her rock, her husband, I'm afraid I just can't fill those shoes. No one expects me to be just like him, but I don't want her quality of life to suffer because I can't be him.

But again, President Thomas S Monson (Prophet and President of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints) has frequently taught that "Whom the Lord calls, He qualifies". I believe this. I've believed it in the past as I was asked to face hard things in my life- and I have to believe it now. If He saw fit to bring me to this situation, I know He can bring me through it.

So- onward we go: the blind leading the blind. And the thing is- even though I'll be taking care of her- I'm pretty sure she'll be the one leading and teaching me.