Finding Hope in the Journey: Understanding Mental Illness

On my last entry about Women’s Conference, I will write about the session entitled “Finding Hope in the Journey: Understanding Mental Illness”. This class seemed to be patterned after my own experience. I cried several times as I nodded in agreement to what the teachers were saying. In some instances, they gave much-needed words to my clouded feelings about the process of dealing with a mental illness. I left feeling empowered and overwhelmed with gratitude. (The words and points of the teachers will be bolded. My thoughts will be in normal type.)

Monica Blume

Most of what Sister Blume expressed are exactly how I feel and what I have learned through my personal journey with a mental illness, so I doubt I will have many of my own thoughts attached. But, they will be my words from now on- so, recognize that, for the purpose of this blog, these thoughts belonged to Monica Blume… but in the future, they will be mine as well.

First, Blume wanted us to realize first and foremost that mental illness is NOT the end of a happy life. It does take hard work, and discipline in the little decisions every day, but happiness can be attained even with a mental illness.

She stressed the importance of CHOOSING TO CHANGE. It is easy for someone with mental illness to fall into the pattern of letting the illness and distorted thinking to control our lives… but it doesn’t have to be that way. If we make that choice to take control of the illness rather than the other way around, we can better manage our lives. I had to go through this process. It is not an easy choice to make (again and again and again), nor is it an easy process to get to that happiness that we all want. BUT, it is doable. I am living proof that living with a mental illness doesn’t mean death and despair all the time (and not just because I have bipolar and struggle with mania, too). I still have episodes, but because I have found a bunch of management strategies that I faithfully adhere to, my episodes are shorter and much more manageable. Believe that change is possible.

Blume gave a list of important things to understand as we learn to deal with mental illness in ourselves or in a loved one. These include:

1.    Be willing to be uncomfortable to get things better. (SO true… the process can really suck sometimes…) But understand, too, that the idea of change is/can be much less uncomfortable than the idea of staying the same and in a rut your whole life.

2.    Have someone around who is willing to fight/intervene

3.    Recognize that you can’t do it alone. There is no point in suffering alone.

4.    Don’t let your or their unsubstantial beliefs keep you from getting help. I’ve said it before, I will say it again- there is NO shame in getting help. I have created a “toolbox” of things that help me stay relatively stable: meditations, good sleep (I’m working on this- apparently my bad sleep has been due to sleep apnea- who knew? I’m currently trying to get used to a CPAP machine so my sleep will be more reparative), good hydration and good diet (also a work in progress), exercise (I dance), a good therapist (therapy is a tool to get you to where you want to be), a good psychiatrist to monitor my medications (many people believe that taking medicine is not dealing with the problem. This kind of thinking is WRONG. Medicine helps correct an imbalance so we are better able to deal). These are my main tools in my toolbox. Using tools is ALWAYS better than getting there alone.

5.    If you have no desire to get better- have the desire to have the desire to develop hope. Does that make sense? You have to want it first- if you don’t, pray for the desire. God wants you to get well, too. Attitude is critical.

6.    Endure.  

·       “Embrace the suck”

·      Change what we can

·      Push through what we can’t

Blume suggested that the best way to start dealing with a mental illness is to take the following steps:

·      Start with the basics: food, sleep, safety

·      Don’t wait: Get help immediately. If you’re unsure, reach out. Find a professional that can answer your questions- they will help you know what to do.

·      Keep working on finding a solution till one can be found. Try solutions, adjust, try again. I’ve talked about this one in the past, also. Sometimes, your first solution won’t work. If it doesn’t work (after giving it a little time and a fair shot to work), move on to the next solution. We do this with medication till we find some that work with minimal side effects. We do this with therapists till we find one that we click with. My therapist and I did it with several other management strategies till we found a few that work. Give them all a fair shot- but if it’s not working, look elsewhere.

After all this advice and insight, it boils down to three things:

·      People are good. People are strong beyond anything when they are put to the test. Have faith.

·      There is ALWAYS hope.

·      Change CAN happen

Micheal Adams

Brother Adams started by giving us a list of UTAH statistics. As far as physical health is concerned, Utah ranks #5 in the nation for best health. However, Utah also ranks #1 in the nation for mental health issues- especially that of depression- and especially for women. This does not mean that women have depression more than men- only that women tend to get help more than men do. Suicide is completed much more frequently by men- probably because they believe men “shouldn’t” have mental health issues. So, they don’t get help, and it eats away at them till they can’t take it anymore. This kills me- no pun intended.

Mental Health issues- especially depression is way more common than we think or give it credit for.

Taking care of both our physical health AND our mental health is VITAL.

But there’s one major roadblock standing in the way of taking care of our mental health issues: STIGMA. Stigma is defined as “a mark of disgrace associated with a particular circumstance, quality, or person.” Synonyms include; shame, dishonor, humiliation, or bad reputation. Honestly- why does this still exist?

During my experience at Women’s Conference, and going to three separate sessions about mental health issues, I was constantly reminded of just how many people struggle with it- either their own, or someone they care about. SERIOUSLY, people! If there are SO many that suffer from the effects of mental illness, why is stigma still an issue?

Stigma is perpetuated by several false beliefs. Among these include,

·      If you have a mental illness, you can’t be trusted.

·      All with a mental illness are violent

·      If you’re dealing with mental illness, you’re stupid

And even worse are those false beliefs brought on by religion:

·      If we’re righteous, God will protect us from mental illness

·      If you have a mental illness, it’s a sign of God’s disfavor with you, or because you sinned.

Come on, please- aren’t we all smarter than this?

There are many physical ailments that are chronic: diabetes, fibromyalgia, enlarged prostate, chronic fatigue, Crohn’s disease, to name a few. There are also other physical ailments that may or may not be a life-long struggle- like cancer. All of these things infect and sometimes change different organs of the body. So, why is the brain any different? It’s just another organ of the body that has a chemical difference. That’s all. Very few people blame someone for having cancer. So, why is it suddenly someone’s fault who deals with clinical depression, bipolar, or schizophrenia? What are we so afraid of?

There are probably many reasons that the stigma continues. I choose to do my part to end the stigma by talking about it, and correcting misunderstandings about mental illness- though I am still not an expert on the matter. I do this through my blog. Those of us who have a mental illness are NORMAL people. We struggle with different things, yes. But this does not mean we should be avoided or feared.

STOP THE STIGMA!!! Many people fear to get the help that they need because stigma exists. We worry about what others may think of us, so we hold back and pretend that everything is fine- ultimately resulting in making our situation even worse. If we can end the stigma, we can stop spending so much energy focusing on what others think, and focus more on getting well.

The Journey to getting well and stable while having a mental illness is not an easy one. There is a statement I heard recently (though I can’t remember where it was from) that said the following:

“What other people think of you

is none of your business”

You can’t control others- that weight would be overbearing. You can control you. Who cares what other people might think or say? What matters is that you get well. And you will find others who will be on your side along the way. Again- it’s not easy, but it IS doable. Stop expending so much energy worrying about things you can’t control- and focus on what you can. You can do it.