I'm experiencing some serious scatter-braining the last few days. I think since we're experiencing another big change (with another pending till Jake finds another job), my brain is trying to organize too many things in my head. I'm kind of obsessing (feeling like it's necessary) about my new career choice. My head jumps from one question to the next- not giving me enough time to resolve any single concern.
Then, there's the emotional reaction to my anxious brain. I feel panicked. I feel desperate to have an answer- any answer to our up-side-down lives... But no answer comes. Yesterday, as I was trying to resolve things in my head, I had a small anxiety attack- my breathing got really fast, and extremely shallow. My brain started going so fast, it was impossible for even me to understand its needs. Tears welled up and I started crying. I tried pinpointing what it was that made me cry... But it was like grasping at straws.
Then, I tried going to bed at a decent time. I slept all night (and kept the cpap on all night- good for me. This usually means I have more energy the following day. But that was not the case this time.); I've been so tired today, I had to have a nap at 8:30 in the morning.
So, I guess I'm unsure if I'm experiencing anxiety, or hypomania with mixed episodes. Maybe both? I'm just trying to take it easy today to give my brain a rest... Though that doesn't feel like it's working. So, I thought journal writing- which is what this is- might help me sort things through... Not sure this is working, either. Maybe another nap- and Hurray! I get to see my therapist this evening. I look forward to her analysis and any homework she thinks might help. (My honest opinion- EVERYONE would benefit from going to therapy.)
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