Last night, my husband and I watched The Tony Awards. Though I always forget to plan for said event, I always enjoy watching. I love the special appearances; I love the dresses- the colors, style, uniqueness; I love the gratitude and the stories that have people their strength and inspiration; but mostly, I love the performances.
I know I was never a professional performer, but Jake and I have had our share of performance experience. We both grew up doing community theatre and were involved in high school productions. I was always drawn to musicals. I was good at the dancing part, definitely teachable in the acting part (I want to say I was better than okay, but that's my own opinion). I got an Associates degree in Musical Theatre, and a Bachelor's in Dance (which included both the practical and theory aspects of stage performance). I was a model for a while (One of my favorite gigs was portraying Barbie for a Toys 'R Us event unveiling of the Nutcracker Barbie), and was in several commercials. I took a professional course in film acting- which really helped me understand the differences and similarities between the stage and the screen. No matter how hard I tried, though, I could never get past my "chorus voice". I can keep a tune- I can even harmonize pretty well, but I lack the individualized power voice you need to really have a future in the business.
I sometimes wonder what would've happened if I had given more attention to developing my voice, but I have no regrets. I had a lot of fun at the time. And In any case, that's not where I landed. What all this experience did give me was, I think, a better appreciation for the talent, mental/emotional/and physical discipline, and raw hard work it takes to put on a really good show.
The Tony Awards is a show that culminates the best of the best in this discipline. To make it here, you have to be a triple threat, or in Steve Martin's words: "already famous". Jake and I found ourselves in tears throughout the show just by the mere greatness of it.
I probably already knew this about myself, but something about the Tony's brought it to the forefront of my attention. I think it was while watching "Hamilton"- a quick and rap opera about the founding fathers of our country- can't wait to see the whole show someday- that I recognized something about my personality. I learn way more by watching people's movement: from the grandiosity of the choreography and stage movement to the simplicity and subtlety of a hand gesture or facial expression; AND by musical cadence; than by the words- especially if the words are fast and complex. I'll tell you, there was a reason that Hamilton was up for 16 Tony awards- and I haven't even seen the show!!!
This is probably due to my background. I've been dancing since I was 3, piano lessons since I was 7 or 8, and was a part of several band and orchestra groups throughout junior high and high school- learning both the flute and the French horn. Music and movement are so deeply rooted in me that those are the things I notice first- and when it comes to a performance as high quality as those participating in the Tony's, my breath is taken away by them, and I forget to pay attention to the words- not through any fault of theirs... Only mine.
All that to say, I give my congratulations to all nominees and performers of the Tony Awards. It was well deserved for all of you. I especially thank "Hamilton" for presenting a mirror through which I can more fully understand and appreciate myself. And for your passion, which allowed me to remember a dream and embrace new ambitions.
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