You know what a strange feeling is? Feeling very tired, but also feeling elevated... even hypomanic. Usually hypomania goes with being very awake/alert. I'm more alert than I usually am when I'm tired, but not to the point I usually am when I'm hypomanic.
My brain has been talking at me all day, keeping me active, helping me feel productive, but not screaming at me to take over the world. I still have feelings of being sleepy, and have had my moments of just staring off into space, but the talking keeps going. I have designed and organized my new master closet- which will not be taking place for a number of years. I have planned on which bookshelf and totes to buy to continue to organize my craft room (an ongoing process)... and have convinced myself I have unknowingly stumbled upon my new look. See, I've been growing my hair out just to prove I can (this is probably the 20th time I've tried)... and am about ready to dye it red again (another frequent occurrence when hypomania comes around). A friend of mine saw me last night after months of no contact, and she didn't even recognize me. I love it when that happens...
So, keep growing my hair out. Dye it red. I showered last night and my hair was still wet when I went to bed. I've been trying to use my CPAP again to help me sleep , and all the straps around my head created waves in my hair... so today, it's a little wild, and is giving me the idea to put a soft perm in my hair as part of my new look.
Also, I don't need them all the time, but I'm starting to use glasses again. My right eye is still mostly good, and definitely compensates for my left, but things are starting to get fuzzy far away, so I put them on when I want/need a little more clarity, especially when I drive at night. So, this is part of my new look, too. And I got a bunch of new clothes for Christmas (and the first government stimulus check)... with a whole bunch of cardigans.
Now let me lose about 50 pounds and I'm a new woman! Yes, though I know I can't lose weight that fast, it doesn't stop me from trying to find a quick solution. Hypomania wants solutions NOW, and is willing to pay just about any amount for it.
(Jake and I have decided I should stay home today, because we both know I would spend money we don't have)
So, all that is where my brain has been. A little productivity along those lines, too.... But mostly what I've done is still a lot of sitting in front of the Television watching movies, while I jot down whatever idea is floating into my head. And even though I'm tired; fat chance I'll be having a nap today.
What a strange feeling... I'll let you know if the makeover fully happens.
